The secrets of thinking

One of the parents I was speaking with wanted to share her concern for the upbringing of her children in this world. How was she to keep them away from drugs, alcohol and glamour? She cried with fear and pain, “Swamiji, my life is miserable whenever I think of my children in this wicked world. What should be my approach to the bringing up of my children?”

Often I question the very genesis of such an enquiry. When we operate out of fear, we transmit the energy of fear to our children; in a subtle way, of course. If we were to operate out of trust, we would transmit trust to our children.

We have to realise that our actions are born from our thoughts. Our thoughts are the products of our values, and values come from our own belief system. If we believe life is miserable, we attract misery; if we believe life is beautiful, we attract happiness. This is called the ‘Law of Attraction’.

We get what we focus on; so focus on the fact that good things will happen to our children. This is one of the strong variables, which would impact our children.

But the parent asks lovingly, “Why do children detest advice?”

The question is, are they really against advice or the way we administer it? Every parent should be sensitive to this aspect.

Reflect on this story: A money-minded son after having his lunch wrote a note to his mother that she owed him $25 and he gave a detailed account- $ 5 for cleaning the house, $ 5 for washing the dishes, $ 15 for mowing the lawn.

The mother was shocked on reading the note. She however decided to educate her son.

In turn she kept a note on the dining table, which read- “Oh! Son, you owe me nothing.” My account runs like this: $ 0 for cooking your food, $ 0 for washing your clothes, $ 0 for ironing them, $ 0 for cleaning your bathroom, $ 0 for taking you to the doctor, $ 0 for the present on your birthday, $ 0 for taking you to the school and bringing you back Finally, dear son, you owe me nothing; because I love you.

The son read this note and was deeply touched.

Children are not against advice; but they are very sensitive to the way it is administered. The heart of education is the education of the heart.

She further asks, “How to deal with children’s boredom despite the variety in entertainment through media?”

Reflect on this story:

A boy complained to his grandmother, “No one likes me at school and life is bitter. My teachers reprimand me, friends are better than me in sports, some friends are better than me in studies and I feel bitter about life”.

“Shall I make a cake for you?,” asked the grandmother.

“Good, I badly need to sweeten my life,” said the boy.

After some time, she gave him flour. “This is not cake, it is so bitter,” screamed the boy. Then she gave him little baking powder.Again the boy screamed, “This is not cake, it is so bitter.” Then she gave him an egg. “This is not cake, it is not tasty,” screamed the boy.

Then the grandmother lovingly told the boy, “Individually each one of them is not tasty but when put together; it becomes a cake”.

“In the same way,” she said, “Individually your experiences are bitter; but join them together with commitment and transformation. Add the sugar of your being and make it a cake. Life is like cooking, you should just make it.”

BY SWAMI SUKHABODHANANDA